Translated by Vincent Kling, Philadelphia
After her mother took the secret to the grave with
her, a young woman from an old patrician dynasty in
Lucerne wants to find out who her father is. Joining
forces with a supposed private detective, she begins
looking for clues the lovers left behind in the early
seventies. In their search, they penetrate ever
deeper into the psyche of the city closely connected
with the name of this young patrician, a city still
today unable to get over its loss of significance. In a
series of shifting encounters with pious nannies,
tight-lipped market women, and mysterious chain-
smoking Jesuits, they uncover evidence of a crime
and ultimately of a love story that draws them
Beat Portman was born in Lucerne in 1976.
After preparatory course work in the jazz
now lives as a free-lance author and singer-
and City of Lucerne for his work. His card
Lucerne Conservatory. His first novel, Durst
and is available. It has been translated into
The unusually dressed woman lying on the gold-
embroidered spread covering the antique bed seemed
to be sleeping peacefully. Her eyelids were closed, her
features relaxed, her narrow hands crossed over her
breast and curved into fists, as if they were holding
invisible insignia of pharaohnic power. Her right hand,
on which she wore a ring, was clasping a pair of white
gloves, and she was wearing a golden chain around her
neck. The oddity of her appearance was caused by an
outfit both folksy and chic at the same time. She was
wearing a long-sleeved white blouse with lace trim
and inserts and over it a glossy red pinafore trimmed
with gold-threaded dark green ribbons and reaching to
her ankles. On her small feet were high-heeled open-
toed sandals; her toenails were lacquered dark red.
Her naturally blond hair, shading into silver, had been
braided into an elaborate crown with a yellow cloth
flower behind her left ear. It looked as if she had just
lain down for a short rest, but her daughter assured
«She’s ice-cold …» the young woman managed to
get out. With a jerky motion she drew my attention to
the medications on the night table, next to a black
book. «I found them in the waste basket.»
I looked at them, glad to be able to turn my gaze
away from the dead woman. They were all labeled
Digoxin and were apparently used for heart disease. I
took the capsules out of the vials. Every last one of
«She swallowed them all …» said Salesia Pfyffer in
I was still holding the empty capsules in my hand,
but now I set them back down on the night stand and
turned to my client. She had pale, glowing skin, a
fragile little nose—and astonishing eyes. Never before
in my life had I seen eyes that large. Her face was
surrounded by a dark-brown pageboy haircut and a
black turtleneck. I guessed she was in her late
With some thought of making a contribution to the
intimacy that was starting to come about, I asked her
if her mother had left a farewell letter.
She shook her head and assailed me again with her
large brown eyes. There was no doubt about it—she
was expecting answers from me, explanations,
conjectures, anything that would show her what
course of action to take from here. Or could she have
I went over to the window and looked out onto the
snow-covered monastery square. It was empty except
for a group of old women standing by Saint Mary’s
Fountain and a priest in his black cassock walking
cautiously down the open stairs. Above the north
tower there was a shimmer of pale blue between the
«We had an argument last night …»I heard Salesia
Pfyffer’s voice saying. «Before—before I telephoned
«I summoned you to Einsiedeln to put pressure on
I nodded, even though I understood nothing.
«And about half an hour before you arrived …
Because it was so quiet the whole morning … I went
to look in on her and discover— discover this.»
She looked at me and dropped her arms.
«Don’t let your conscience bother you,» I began
cautiously; «people do this of their own …»
«I don’t have a bad conscience,» she interrupted.
«Did I say any such thing? I’m merely trying to point
She turned away and threw her hands up to her
face. The way she was crying, soundlessly and turned
in on herself—only her narrow shoulders were shaking
a little—would have been embarrassing for even the
I could have just left at that point. The door to the
bedroom was standing open—I could have reached it
«You have to help me»; her voice made its way to
my ear as if from a distance. She turned and let her
glance slide down me, looked back up and stated: «I’ll
«What do you have in mind?» I said, not exactly
«I’d like to take my mother back to the house
where she was born. This isn’t where she belongs.»
The dead woman lay in my arms like a lifesize figure
on an Epiphany cake. Earlier, Salesia Pfyffer had
wrapped her in the bedspread with dexterous
movements and concise instructions about how I was
to handle the stiff corpse. While she was bringing her
car to the rear entrance, I carried her mother into the
corridor and set her down carefully.
It was never my intention to write scenes like this,
let alone figure in them. Moreover, I balked at
representing myself as something I actually wasn’t.
For example, pretending to a young woman whose
mother had just committed suicide that I was a
«Come …»she whispered, as she appeared in the
doorway. And because I was hesitating, she added,
«Let’s get going; we don’t have all the time in the
Reluctantly I wrapped my arms around the dead
woman and lifted her horizontally. Given her slender
figure she was surprisingly heavy. I went sideways
down the stairs to the ground floor, where Salesia
Pfyffer was holding open the door to the courtyard.
The body of her car, a dark blue limousine,
reflected our surroundings in vaguely expressionistic
style. The tailgate door was open, and the back seats
had been lowered. I slid the corpse feet first into the
«Would you drive? I just don’t feel capable …»
Shrugging my shoulders I took the key, took my
place behind the wheel, breathed deeply and started
While I was steering the car out of the courtyard
onto the paved village street, Salesia Pfyffer was
pushing buttons in search of a radio station. She
settled on DRS 2 and some violin concerto or other.
I shifted into fifth gear and picked up speed.
Up until a few weeks ago I had been looking upon
my career as a writer confidently.After I had lived
through some turbulent times— my publisher in
contract—everything had seemingly taken a turn for
the better: my crime novel based on actual events had
secured me a place with a new publisher in very short
order, which had contributed to very decent sales
figures— at least compared to my two previous novels.
But now I had been wanting to turn back to real
fiction, that godlike exercise sovereignty in the still of
a quiet chamber, where the author creates a small
cosmos of his own. Real life, with its monopoly on
realism, its dodges and feints, its abstruse flukes and
«She looks so peaceful—as if she were just getting
a little sleep.» Salesia Pfyffer turned her glance back
Somewhat annoyed at her calling her mother a
corpse, I shrugged my shoulders. «Not really …»
I had quit when the second millenium took its last
gasp. By now, that was almost exactly one hundred
«Thanks, but I’d like to do it on my own.»
She held the pack out to me and gave me a light.
I took the first drag cautiously while guiding the
car out of the canyon and into the open landscape of
the upland plateau. Then the second one, more
rugged, and right after that the third. I grew a bit
dizzy, my heart was pounding, and I felt at one with
the surroundings and the padded winter sky.
A few weeks before, my new publisher had taken a
look at my most recent project for a novel, into which
I had been pouring my heart’s blood for several years.
First he had muttered to himself a little and then
said,»This attempt to apply the principles of
Romantic literature to the context of the last years of
the twentieth century is actually very interesting.»
Pause— and then with a sigh, «I just have to ask
myself if there would be an audience.» Another pause.
«Do you think you could see your way clear to write
another crime story first? I think you have a real talent
My publisher thought he was on to something. He
was evidently confusing my tendency to fall into
complicated and sometimes dangerous adventures
with an ability to concoct a criminological plot.
«You’re driving at an excessive speed.»
And so I was. I took my foot off the gas pedal.
Salesia Pfyffer put her cigarette stub out in the
ashtray. Then she applied gloss to her lips, pressed
them together and said, «For a private detective you
don’t strike me as especially curious.»
I’d been somewhat surprised the day before—
several weeks after the talk with my publisher—when
a woman’s voice on the phone the day before
addressed me as «Herr Arnold.» I’d listed myself in
the phone book as a private detective under that
pseudonym three years before but then had it
removed the year after that. It turned out that Salesia
Pfyffer was calling from her mother’s vacation
apartment, where the phone book from 1998—the
year the mother had moved into the apartment— was
still lying around. In keeping with my nature, I
interpreted it as a sign sent by fate.
«Do you still want me to locate your father?»
I had to brake and go into low gear, because a
tractor turned into our lane from a side road. After
passing it I asked,»Do you have any specific leads or
First she said no, only to contradict herself at once.
Then she talked for quite a good while, the whole
time hard pressed to put her thoughts into words.
From the swirling turmoil of her outpourings I
gathered that she had believed up to just a few weeks
before that she owed her conception to a «romance»
her mother had with an English aristocrat— appar-
ently during a stay in Zermatt. Her father had
supposedly, before she was born, never returned from
a hike across a glacier. Her mother had evidently
stuck to this version to the very end.
The thought of her mother’s death silenced her.
Looking sideways at her, I noticed how her lips were
pressed together. She lowered her eyes and was
listening—I assumed—to the violins, rising over the
I’ll confess openly that sheerdesperation was what
made me agree when Salesia Pfyffer asked me to
come to Einsiedeln the following day. Possibly her
name had made me curious as well—the prospect of
meeting someone of such old and substantial a
«How is it you suddenly came to cast doubt on that
Salesia Pfyffer had lit a new cigarette and looked at
«Someone sent me a copy of a contract …»
She took a sheet of paper out of her purse and
I took a look at it. The text was written with a
typewriter and titled «Disclaimer of Paternity.» The
date of April 23, 1973 was given. At my request she
read it out loud to me: «In placing his signature on
this contract, the biological father attests his willing-
ness to renounce all rights and duties of fatherhood in
return for a blanket compensation of two hundred
thousand Swiss francs. Payment of said compensation
will ensue upon delivery of the signed contract to the
legal mother. The biological father commits himself
by these presents to maintain lifelong silence
regarding his paternity and this contract. The child
shall grow up believing that its father met with a fatal
On the copy, the father’s name had been
completely covered over by a black bar, and his
signature was missing as well. The contract was
signed by only one party, Charlotte Johanna Pfyffer.
«A great deal of money for something other fathers
I held the contract out to her and looked back out
«Do you find that comment witty by any chance?»
She tore the paper out of my hand and attacked the
Author and Characters of the novels on facebook:
Assistant Professor, St. Jerome’s University Mathematics DepartmentCross-appointed, University of Waterloo Pure Mathematics DepartmentAffiliate, Perimeter Institute for Theoretical PhysicsMathematics Department,St. Jerome’s University,290 Westmount Rd N, Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G3. geometric analysis, differential and algebraic geometry, gauge theory, mathematical physics. 1. (201